I lost You!!

I used to write poems some years back which I remember I started writing when I learnt making some sort of rhymes during primary school . Thenafter I wrote poems about lots and lots of things. More often I wrote about whatever I saw around me and what striked me. I remember myself writing sometimes about politics, sometimes about lives, sometimes about the pictures, my home, my school, my friends and many more things. I lost most of them still I have a good collection of some of them. I haven’t turned over those pages last some years. I don’t know why! I just don’t know why I can’t write so easily these days. I have lots and lots of matters to write about these days rather. But I don’t know why I don’t write or say why I can’t jot them down.
Last year, I wrote some poems about myself since I have been much self centered and have some sort of frustration in my mind which I haven’t been able to ommit out. Yes, they were about about my relationships, more precisely a relationship. Yes, it was related to love in fact but I could never turn those poems and some other stuffs I wrote into some romantic things people could read and they were like some insane expressions which my friends could not understand so easily. They needed some sort of interpretations which I did sometimes and sometimes I just had fun when they didn’t understand. In fact lately I wrote most of them for my own satisfaction and yes, I addressed them to you. Do you remember something? I have told you that whatever I wrote for you. If not, I wrote about you. And I enjoyed writing them, about you and for you though I could never let you read them. Yes, you have read some of them, but they are just exceptions.
These days I just don’t feel like writing something. Because people misunderstand me. People call tragedy when i write about some sort of romantic matters and when i write about some tragedic moments then they take it as else. You can easily access to those what I write if I do. But what makes me sad is even you don’tunderstand them. Its pathetic for me. May be I started expecting more from you. I am sorry.
I recall those days time and again. I felt like I don’t want anything from you. I expected nothing at all from you but some words, that would make me feel that I am not wrong. Those words would make me happy. I wanted to be happy talking to you when possible which would make me happy whole day sometimes a week. Unfortunate me!! You talked to me, made me happy but only god knew you were pretending to be talking to me.
These days I can’t find any favorable topic to write about. Yes, there are many but I can’t fugure them out. You know why? Because I lost you (though I never had you). And you were my topic to write about. You are just lost somewhere, I think I would never find you anywhere.